Card of the Day: XI Strength
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The Wild Unknown Tarot [/caption]
I pulled this card deliberately today, not a random shuffle-and-pull. I wanted to reflect on some things I’ve learned this week—a week in which time felt warped by larger forces. Sometimes galloping by, sometimes stopping altogether.
It’s clear to me now more than ever: the focus of my life is relational healing. Which includes relational harm—both harms received and harms done to others. The lessons have been gutting and filled with grace, and I am beyond grateful to be learning so much that is helping me navigate an impossible moment in our collective history from a more authentic place.
For nearly all of my life, my anger was my voice. Sometimes that came out loud and harsh, sometimes cold and cruel, sometimes precise and skillful. Lately I’ve been going back to decipher old angers and resentments, and see that underneath them were hurts and needs and deep longings for care, support, comfort and encouragement. I am finding different voices. If I am rooted in what I’m feeling, I can ask for what I need. From a place of love for myself and love for others. It feels like a revolution.
And: When we ignore the needs and care of people over and over again, rage arises. How could it not? If I am not noticing and not listening, how can I expect others to continue to ask nicely? I will never tell another person to not be angry. I was told that for many, many years. I practiced in a tradition that called anger a poison. And while I do believe that’s true, I also see that anger is a signal that there is deeper pain at play. I imagine someone asking me during a fit of rage, “You seem like you’re really hurting. What would help you right now? What do you need?”
These seeming micromoments, that may look self-centered and out of touch with what’s happening on a large scale, I think are part of learning how to survive in a new world, in a new way. And I think this card depicts perfectly what’s required to navigate those micromoments, of which a life is made.
What are you learning right now?
