Card of the Day: II The High Priestess

She’s my fave. Also found out recently that she’s my Life Card (add up the numbers in the month, day and year of your birthday and keep reducing till you get a number between 1 and 9). She is present any time tarot is being practiced and in all forms of divination. She is the realm of the unconscious, ruled by the Moon. She is the role that silence and passivity play in realizing wisdom and compassion. She is the wisdom that has no teacher, the guardian of the Shadow, the one who looks beyond the obvious and the spoken, the one who reads between the lines.

In monotheistic religions, an adherent is asked to believe and have faith in the teachings. In a nontheistic religion like Buddhism, one is asked to practice and verify the truth of the teachings in their own body and mind. Often one has a teacher that guides them along the path and affirms their insights. The High Priestess is the deep inner knowing that we all have, independent of external systems or validation. We may not be able to speak about it, but we nevertheless don’t doubt it, because we feel the truth of it in our body, mind, cells, nervous system, heart and spirit. Whether anyone else affirms it or not.

I spent a very long time working very hard to find a person/system/community that would affirm that I was good enough, smart enough, and that gosh-darn-it: people like me! I’ve renounced that in favor of my own seeking. Walking my own crooked, meandering path, using pleasure, love, connection, and deep feeling as torches to illuminate just enough of the path to take the next step.

The old doubts and insecurities are constant companions. How many years did I listen to the disdaining of Buji Zen, self-styled spiritual materialism, salad-bar spirituality? Who do I think I am, finding my own way? I’m having the time of my life asking the question.