Card of the Day: Father of Swords

My flash reaction to this card tends toward the negative. He kind of represents “The Man” in my mind. Power, cool judgment, making and enforcing the rules. Where’s the heart!? The warmth, the juice, all the feelings!? It’s just not his lane.

Watching the dem debates last night, watching Biden with his “Here’s the deal…” and constant I, Me, I did this, I invented the world. Do we want that kind of leader? Hearing Steyer (I know! Steyer!) talking about how narratives shape policy and wanting to put together a commission on race to tell a more accurate story of the country, I was like: Do go on! And seeing the women struggling to get equal time, what they’re up against just by virtue of the conditioning we’re all subject to around women and power. I felt sad and furious about it.

Power and (self-)sovereignty are tricky. I remember crying in my therapist’s office in my 20’s saying, “I just want someone to tell me what to do!” And now, at 44: Don’t tell me what to do. Discerning and knowing deeply what my life is about has made me more willing to take responsibility for it. I don’t need to defend my actions if I’m clear about what they’re based on. I can risk standing alone when the moment requires it. I’m not so easily jerked around by every surge of energy that runs through me when someone disagrees, or doesn’t seem to like or approve of me. I know what I’m about. (Or at least, more than I ever have.)

Do we know what we’re about as a country? It seems we’re struggling through a national identity crisis. Maybe even deeper than that: a struggle over our very soul? This tarot father has something important to offer—a broad view, clear thinking. But he needs a crew alongside him that brings passion, empathy, a connection to the Earth, to the body, to feelings. Logic and clear thinking are not going to save us. The cold logic of racial capitalism is what got us here. I think a descent into our messy and traumatized collective body might be what’s needed to get us through.