Card of the Day: XI Justice
This is the most powerful image of the Justice card that I’ve come across. A turkey vulture with outstretched wings holds an arrow in its mouth, on which hang scales—a vulture skull on the left pan, an egg on the right.
In this deck, as in many others, Justice comes at the midway-point of the Major Arcana. We’ve been socialized into the culture and individuated and done some inner work. We have some sense of who we are. But we haven’t met the hard stuff yet—death, our unconscious, our shadow, the collective. We’re poised on the pivot of taking responsibility for our life, understanding how our past choices brought us to this place, and how our current choices will create the future.
I’ve been skirting up against some shadows lately, a most uncomfortable process. I don’t think I’m alone. I’m wondering how much of a collective shadow-encountering we’re having right now. I find myself pendulating between feeling amazing and inspired, and feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I’m riding these waves, wondering...
As a white woman living in a white supremacist culture, the question I’ve been keeping on the tip of my nose is: Am I allowed to enjoy my life? I’m not looking for a yes or no answer. I’m using the rub of the question, the friction and energy it generates. Are my joy, pleasure, creativity in conflict with my commitment to uprooting white supremacy? Are they fuel for that uprooting? How do I know?
Understanding that my misery helps no one, to what extent can I take responsibility for the ways that my joy, pleasure, etc., are the result of being a white person in a white supremacist culture? To what extent do I realize that my joy, etc., are compromised by white supremacy? How can they be a disruption of these systems of oppression? How am I using them to hide, and justify my comfort? How do I know?
It seems correct to be grappling with these questions. White body supremacy is a hall of mirrors, turtles all the way down. Who am I apart from white supremacy? What is my true self? Is it possible to know? What questions are you grappling with right now?
